Melody Joy wrote:
Garphunkiel was certain that he would never be able to win the affections of Sheshheeah. She was the most beautiful Khump he had ever seen. She had 17 thick tentacles, each one ending in a magnificent clawed hand. Her gelatinous head could move in the most sensual ways as she danced. Sheshheah was the star of Khump Intergalactic Theater. Garphunkiel was a mere stage hand. His primary job was to work the scenery in the front part of the stage. Although he enjoyed the view it gave him of the Khump of his dreams, he also knew he could never have her.
One day, as Sheshheah lifted up higher and higher on the lift for the final number, something went terribly wrong. The lift snapped, no doubt under her substantial weight, and her bodacious body plummeted toward the stage. There was no time to do anything but scream, which many of the other females did, and the whole theater filled with the sounds of their shrieks. Garphunkeil was frozen in place. The stage manager rushed to her side and kept the actors away with his 23 long arms that were constantly in motion.
Sheshheah’s form was completely still. Once the echoes of the screams had died down, the theater fell into a pregnant silence as every actor, stagehand, band member, and spectator waited to find out the outcome. The stage manager was working his many hands over her body, desperately checking all five of her hearts for signs of life. Finally, he stepped back, defeated. For once, he seemed uncertain as to what he should do next. He slowly turned toward the audience and Garphunkiel. Without uttering a sound, he let them all know that the star was dead.
Garphunkiel felt the loss deep within his liver and uttered a sound that he had never made before nor had he known he was capable of. It came up from the inmost part of his being and bellowed forth in a guttural cry of anguish. The theater filled with the lament as it hit the walls and echoed louder and louder. Garphunkiel couldn’t stop the outcry of despair nor did he want to.
Suddenly, Sheshheah stirred. It was a mere shiver at first, but soon, her bulging shape began to move in earnest until she eventually had righted herself, slouched heavily on her clawed tentacles and appearing weak, but upright and alive nonetheless. As the last of Garphunkiel’s wails faded into the stunned silence that had once again overcome the theater, Sheshheah garbled a question to the stage manager: “What happened?”
Dana Lee wrote:
You will never believe what I saw. In fact, I am not sure I even believe it myself. In fact I cannot even begin to describe what I just saw. I was doing my job and cleaning up in the International Intergalactic theater. They had just played the movie "Silliness of the Bean Grape." There was a young woman who complained about being stuck to her chair. She said something happened in the movie that caused her to not be able to move. I was the only one in the theater at the time. At first I thought she was trying to scam us for a free movie screening. I went to talk to my manager about the situation at hand. He told me that this has happened several times after this movie. He then gave me the following instructions:
Finish cleaning the theater.
Put the movie to that scene and play it backwards.
Instruct the lady to stand up.
This all seemed bizarre to me but I did as my boss said. Next thing I knew, the lady was thanking me and walking out the door with the rest of her family. I guess miracles really do happen.
Pope Jon wrote:
If you don't know who those two characters are, go and watch the entire Star Wars movie saga.
Ok, now that we all know who they are and those who didn't are on the road to forgiveness, we can discuss the miracle that takes place in this intergalactic theater.
"But, Pope Jon!" You rudely interrupt, "That's not a theater, that's the Senate building, you daft punk!"
And to that I reply, "Maybe not in the traditional sense. But the Senate is where politicians go to act dramatically and tragically. There is no greater platform for them to play at war, peace, and all the blood between the two than in the Senate. And don't call me a techno band."
But back to the miracle!
It's important to understand that at this point in galactic history, the dark side is superior to the light. It's why the Jedi were blind to the betrayal of the clones, and why all but a puny amount were killed. So when Yoda and Obi-wan decide to bring balance to the force and attempt to defy the prophecy, Yoda was at a severe disadvantage against one of the most powerful sith lords of all time. Yet before Sidious could finish off his little green friend, Yoda escaped to live out the rest of his extremely long life.
If Yoda had been slain in this moment, he never would've been around to train Luke Skywalker, who as we all know, was instrumental in bringing balance to the force, defeating the Galactic Empire, and rebuilding the Jedi Order.
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