Pope Jon wrote:
"Alright, Mr... Jon?" The director was puzzled. "You didn't include a last name here," he observed as I took center stage.
I was wearing my best suit, accented by sunglasses that helped to ward off the blindingly bright stage lights.
"Important to remain anonymous on the internet," I replied simply.
The director was confused by my breach of the 4th wall, but continued nonetheless.
"Very well. You're auditioning for the part of Chuck Cranston, correct?"
"The hero of the show, that's right," I answered proudly.
The director had no answer to that, and waved to indicate that I should start.
And so I started. And continued. Then, I kept going. Next, I persisted. After that, I carried on. Subsequently, I sustained.
But for whatever reason, the fool didn't like my idea of changing the entire play to a 2 hour version of Psy's Gentleman, and I was kicked out.
It's not that I think that would be entertaining or worthwhile, it's that Footloose is horrifically bad, and I knew that literally any performance would be better than that musical.
Melody Joy wrote:
Gangnam Style. I love dancing to anything that has a beat and, quite frankly, have a hard time resisting dancing when there is music playing. This has led to more than one dance party in public places. However, my favorite song to dance to is Gangnam Style by Psy. Actually, I did once rock it out with a friend in Walmart.
“Hello. My name is Melody, and I’ll be dancing to Gangnam Style by Psy.”
The music begins with me leaning back slightly, arms crossed. I nod my head rhythmically with the intro music. Then the verse starts up and I begin my well-practiced routine that I may or may not have picked part of up from a clown at a children’s birthday party. By the time the chorus hits I’m filling the stage with my energy, jumping from side to side riding that invisible horse. The bridge hits and I bust out my best robot moves to show the judges my full range of dancing skills. As the end comes, I lift up my leg up and my arm down as though I’m going to take a large step forward, and as the music ends, I land my leg solidly behind me and bring my arm up in front of my face with my fist balled up, nailing the final move.
The judges are stunned. Their expressions are unreadable. Then, one at a time, they slowly rise from their seats, applauding enthusiastically. Eventually, they sit back down in their seats, faces still in shock over my dance moves.
I wait patiently, a wide smile on my face.
Finally, one of them speaks slowly, “What was your name again?”
“Melody,” I answer.
“Melody, I don’t know what part you’re auditioning for, but you got it. You will always have a part here. I have never seen anything so spectacular in all of my years on Broadway.”
Dana Lee:
Walking into the theater I knew this was my chance. I have been waiting all my life to dance for this company. I attended school at Juliard for contemporary dance. While I knew my dance lacked in creativity. I also knew that I could nail it better than anyone. I put my own flair into this dance that I knew would make me stand out from the rest. The song was "Cotton-Eyed Joe" by Rednex.
I walked onto the stage and handed my c.d. to the gentleman who was in charge. He looked at the title written on the with a puzzled look. I walked back to the center stage. As soon as the music began I began the only dance I was ever able to learn. I danced with such confidence that there was no way they would be able to turn me away.
The panel looked at me with utter astonishment. "Dana, is it?" they asked.
"Yes," I replied as I tried to catch my breath.
"We will let you know," they said.
10 years later and I am still waiting the call. Maybe they forgot about me.
Now... Us actually dancing to actual songs...
Melody Joy and Dana Lee to Kelly Clarkston's A Moment Like This:
And Pope Jon (along with some backup dancers) to Katy Perry's Hot n' Cold:
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