Melody Joy wrote:
When I was in second grade, my thrifty and crafty mother lovingly made me a pair of pants. They were corduroy, but that’s not the worst part. The worst part was that one pant leg was teal and the other was magenta. Despite the fact that I have never been overly conscious of current fashion trends nor do I feel obligated to keep them, I hated the pants and never wore them.
One day, I spilled chocolate milk all over my blue jeans during lunch. The school office called my mom and asked her to bring me another pair of pants to change into. As I waited for the dry pair of pants to arrive, I had the fleeting and terrifying thought that she might bring THE pants, but dismissed it quickly because the thought was simply too awful.
When she arrived, she had them in her hands: THE pants. I obligingly put them on as she simultaneously chided me for needing a change of pants since I hadn’t spilled that much and for never wearing the fabulous pair of teal-and-magenta corduroy pants she had made me. Needless to say, I ended up being more embarrassed about the clean pants I had to wear rather than the actual initial spilling.
Prompt: Write the obituary of a fairy blacksmith.
Dana Lee wrote:
George Thomas Jebodiah Smith- Fairy. Aged 241 years old. He originates from the land of Postrepollo where he owned and operated a blacksmith shop. He leaves behind his wife of 141 years, Elizabeth Jane Anna Smith. He also leaves behind two boys: George Thomas Jebodiah Smith II and Henry Jebodiah Thomas Smith. Those who knew him will always remember him for the work he did in the blacksmith shop. He was a very beloved man.
Prompt: What is your favorite type of facial hair (on men)? Write a letter to petition the government to make it law that all men sport that facial hair.
Pope Jon wrote:
My favorite type of facial hair is the full beard. This may be boring, but you can't choose what you love.
However, I would be extremely opposed to the government enforcing all men to sport the exact same beard, or any beard at all!
This might not get posted due to my rebellious outburst, but I will NOT sit back and participate in the desensitization of beard appreciation!
I'll be referencing beards from this image, so pay attention.
First off, there are several beards depicted that I cannot wield, despite my fairly voluminous face forrest. For example, I cannot grow a Scholar. My cookie duster simply doesn't extended that far, nor is it remotely wispy or flowing, as a good Scholar should be. It is both cruel and degrading to expect men to grow facial hair that their bodies just won't let them!
Second, even if we assume that every man CAN grow an identical beard, this is the equivalent of forcing people to wear bags over their heads that identify them as male or female. A man's bear, or lack thereof, is a part of his personal identity! Many men name their flavor savors and assign personas and spirits with them. They identify with different styles, and would be heart-broken to be forced to adopt another.
Lastly, as indicated in the image above, there is a certain level of trust that you can assume a man possesses based on his chin moss. If every man is forced to don the Full Beard, we would live in a society that subconsciously puts false trust in innumerable men! Or potentially worse, if every man had to change their face warmer for a Hitler, no one would trust any man! The economy would collapse as salesmen, car mechanics, and lawyers are suddenly seen as liars, thieves, and swindlers.
In short, I would never write a letter like this to the government. I would do the opposite. Not the opposite of never writing the letter, the opposite of writing the letter.
In shorter and less confusing... ish... beards deserve to be independent.
VIVA LA RESISTENCIA DE LAS BARBAS!
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