Friday Favorites - Fan Letters

Today's prompt: Who is your favorite actor? Write them a letter as a crazed fan.


Chuck C. wrote:

Dear Nick Offerman,

Your work as the character Ron Swanson has been foundational and formative to who I am. Once I was a flag burning, tree hugging, soy eating, long-haired hippie who's great loves were cannabis and Grateful Dead albums.

Thanks to you, I have now seen the light. I wish to be shown the ways of the Swanson. Teach me to live off the land. Teach me woodworking and how to woo the ladies with the sweet sweet sounds of the saxophone. Teach me how to live a life as an eternal thorn in big government’s side.

After I recover from my surgery permanently furling my brow (to make me look more like you), we can begin my lessons. Return a letter to this post office box with the where and when.

Sincerely,

Chuck C. Your adoring fan


Melody Joy wrote:

Dear Hugh Jackman,

I am your number one fan. I’ve seen every movie you’ve been in at least 7 times. I’m particularly fond of any one in which you remove your shirt or sing. I am also a fan of the show Scrubs, and always get upset when Dr. Cox speaks out against you. I think that is unfair and that he is just jealous of your abs and great body. And also your singing voice.

You are an awesome actor, and as an aspiring actress myself, I think you could teach me a lot. So, I have enclosed all of my contact information so that you can get in contact with me. I will meet you anywhere, any day, and anytime. Please let me know what works best for you, and I’ll drop everything to spend some time chatting with you.

You can also find enclosed a lock of my hair and several photographs of myself so that you’ll be able to recognize me when we meet. You can do what you wish with the lock of hair and the photographs. I have several thousand photographs of you that make up one wall of my room as well as a few larger ones in the corner where I light candles and pray for you.

Have you ever considered being a sperm donor? As you can see from my enclosed photographs, I am extremely attractive and believe that my genes combined with yours would produce fabulous children. I of course would not ask you to be a part of our children’s lives, unless you wanted to. I know you’re very busy so I won’t force you to spend time with our children, but I know you understand the benefit of children knowing their father.

Anyway, let me know about meeting up and sperm donation.

- Your Biggest Fan


Dana Lee wrote:

If you have not figured it out already, I am a huge Harry Potter fan. My favorite actor is Alan Rickman. (They seriously could not have picked a better Snape!) Here is my letter to one Severus Snape:

Dear Professor Snape,

I am writing this letter in hopes that you will give me a letter of recommendation for a job prospect. You are the wisest wizard I have ever met in my life. I am aware that getting this letter to you will be near to impossible because you beyond the grave. I have knowledge of dark lords that can assist me in getting this letter to you.

I was in your potions class alongside Luna Lovegood. You probably do not remember me because I was constantly wearing an invisibility cloak. I inherited it from my great great great uncle. The powers I have to make potions are far beyond anything that stupid Potter kid can do and I am willing to prove this to you as needed.

The job I am seeking is head potion make in a local drug store here in England. I will be working alongside the best potion makers in the world to help cure common diseases such as the flu for muggles. Please respond by owl as soon as you get this. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

With regards, Rowena Ravenclaw


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